Dear Yaw

Dear Future…

Dear Yaw,

This is going to be quite a long one… so you should probably take a seat😊.

Too many times I have overthought things. Height difference, career plans, (or my lack of such plans), number of children, travel plans, etc. I remember exactly 8 days before I said yes to you… having a serious discussion with Maame about how your height could make our relationship difficult. “What if we try to kiss and he can’t reach? What will we do about dancing on our wedding day? – We must dance ooh Salsa + Ballroom things + Hilife too!!  What if he doesn’t even want to hold my hands in public, and it’s because he’s not that tall? Will I ever be able to wear heels again IN MY LIFE?? He’s too serious ooh… Plus when we get married, what if I want to go skinny dipping with him and he’s there doing those ‘serious boy’ long things? What if he doesn’t want to make out in elevators because of the possibility of getting ‘caught’?”😂😂

😂😂 Very childish, I know (And believe me, these represent less than 2% of the ‘what ifs’ that ran through my mind)

But then I said yes to you…..

And I must say, you have done a good job.  You’ve dealt with my coffee addiction love😝, and my lack of a sense of direction on pretty much any road🙈. You have dealt well with my crazy imaginations, my ‘over-sentimentality’ and wild longings – present and future alike. There’s definitely still a lot of it to come, so don’t get so comfortable yet lol.

Before you came along, I had a tall list that I sent to God – Tall, (Yes, that was sort of number one on the list lol), of course, God fearing (without being one of those church guys you cannot have a sensible conversation about life with), good looking (And I definitely got that!), craaazy, (There’s still some time for you to pick up this trait :D), He must open doors, and pull out chairs for me to sit. He must make surprise plans for us (which will excite me, of course) He must call me all sorts of beautiful nicknames. He must hold my hands when we walk and do forehead kisses on the regular, with love letters every now and then. He must have a constant desire to run his hands through my hair when we spend time together, and he must look into my eyes randomly (but often) and say nice nice things … generally, his romance game must be real strong! It must earn him A stars! Oh and of course, he must have a sizable butt🙈! (I won’t lie, God heard me real LOUD and CLEAR on this one)! The list is quite long.

You have many big dreams – don’t let go of them because of any man. Don’t let anyone clip your wings. You will fly. Choose someone who will fly with you, and push you higher. Your daddy pushed me for years until I was flying high above him. He did not feel threatened. On the days when I wanted to stop flying, he carried me – literally. He still pushes me. You need that kind of person.”

And so I chose you. Not just because of how much you proved you love me. Not because you fulfilled any of the things on my semi- childish list, or because you had patiently waited over a year after asking. Not because of how charming you are, or how pretty your eyes and lips are🙈  and certainly not because of the butt, (although it did play a very tiny part)…

I chose you because you push me. You make me want to become better. Your successes inspire me, and I knew that God wanted to tell me something when he brought me ‘my short man.’

You already know that home isn’t always a place. Home is the feels. To me, home is someone giving you a reason to stay. Choosing you over and over again. You are home. You give me a reason to stay. You have not stopped choosing me. And I hope that after sixty years, we can still each feel like home to the other. No matter where in the world we find ourselves, I pray that you’ll be home to me, and I to you, always.

I know that I’m a really crappy person in the mornings when I haven’t had a good coffee… (Reason why we need a state of the art coffee machine in our home, wherever it will be), and I will always treat the dog as I would a baby – Yes, the dog may share our bed sometimes. (Also a reason why you should plan to get me us a puppy soon– I would prefer a Saint Bernard or a Labrador, – No toy dogs! *hint hint*🐶🐶). You will almost always have a very hard time waking me up in the morning… unless of course you qualify your reason for waking me up 😝

I know that I will irritate you a lot, annoy you quite often, and most likely not be the perfect person. I will worry your life for hugs and kisses all the time – or almost all the time. I will argue with you over very petty things – and I will probably argue harder when I know I’m wrong. I will mess up your table, and I will eat your food even when I said I was not hungry. I will make us stop in random places when we’ve planned to go somewhere. I will make you wear shorts so I can ogle your butt (You know this). I will make you wear slim fit shirts by force, and hide your bell shoes so you don’t even find them to wear. I will constantly piss you off. I will overthink things – both real and imaginary things. And I will impose what you call “fairy-tale things” on you…  I will wake you up at night, like it or not, and I will be low key upset when you sleep early. I will make salads, lasagnes and vegetable sauces that you will have to eat, because not everyday rice rice rice!

But there can be no one else for you than me (Just as there can be no one else for me). Who else can always have your back and deal with all your wahala lol? Who else will deal with your annoying text language (what the hell is ‘gm’??) Who can deal with your 9pm all the time sleep time…? (Why on earth do you always sleep so early??) I don’t know who else can deal with the lack of adventure genes in your blood (Don’t worry, by association, these will be put in you with time 😉 )Or deal also with your annoying formal talk, “We should find the way forward soon, because it behoves on us to not give up .….” (You could have just said, ‘Honey we should figure this out soon’), Oh and your “quiet times” when I can’t get more than two sentences per hour out of you!

It doesn’t matter where work or life will take either of us – and I’m pretty sure it’ll take us many places; I promise to be there with you, and for you. I will make memories with you, wherever. I want to be 80 and have so many memories going on in my head that the kids (and grand-kids) will hear a new one every now and then.

I want us to learn to live in the now, and not only for the future. No matter how busy we get, or how hard we’re working towards the awesome life we have planned, we shouldn’t let it steal from us the joy of this present moment. There will be times when you won’t have the time for me, and as you already know, this is absolutely fine – as long as you understand when the roles are reversed. In our chosen career, we both know there will be times when the sacrifices we will have to make for other people will cost us. But I hope we don’t make those occurrences habitual. I hope that no matter what emergency situation I’m taking care of, everyone knows that if you were to call, or appear, you’d be top priority!

 

I need you to understand one more thing. As you already know, you have some pretty high expectations to meet. Expectations that were half set from watching my parents, and that have been in my heart since I was 6, when I first saw my parents kiss. I remember dad, not skipping a beat when mum got a job halfway across the continent. I watched him take mummy to the airport for every single trip she had to make – Right from Afghanistan, to Zimbabwe – and pick her up on every return. I watched him try to work his schedule so he could make some of these trips with her. I listened to them talk hours into the night when she returned from such trips. They have such a beautiful friendship, even after thirty years of marriage. They have not stopped showing affection, teasing each other, or playing and laughing together.

I also remember when mummy made a personal decision to quit her job to come and support dad at a time when he needed it. It was a grand sacrifice that I felt was unnecessary at the time. (What do I know?) But it showed me that tough decisions will be made. And no matter how hard they will be, they should not conquer what we have.

 

I admire your love for God. I admire how focused you are, how you can put your mind to one thing, and make it happen. I admire how clever you are, and how silly you can be when you want to be (I need more of this silly though 😝lol). I admire how humble you are, and how modest you are. I admire how willing you are to make me happy. I admire the way you treat my family. I admire the way you treat kids – because we will have many of them. I admire the passion you have for your chosen field. I admire your standards and how high they’ve been set. I admire your strong commitment to purity. I admire the respect you have for me and for my views. I admire your heart. It’s a heart of gold, and every day, I thank God that He gave it to me. I value our friendship and our love. I appreciate all your efforts. Have I mentioned that I love your butt too?

I don’t want to keep going on and on. There will be other letters. There’s a lifetime ahead of us. I just want you to know today, that you’re one of the many things I thank God for. Daily! Sometimes more.

I know this letter is scattered, and not in a very sensible order. But it’s straight from my heart, and I just want it to convey one message to you. You are deeply loved and appreciated. No matter what. You mean a lot to me – you always will.

Cheers to the many years we have ahead of us, and to the beautiful life that God has planned for us. Cheers to love, purity and a deep commitment to each other.

Yours Always,

❤❤❤❤

Nana Yaa.

 

“Home”

This is one of the very few times on this blog, when I write about my personal life. This is what home means to me… I hope you like it… You can drop a comment and tell me what home means to you too 😀 !

Over the years, we’ve lived in so many places. Different countries, different cities, different places in the same city…..

With time, and movement, and travel, and school, I’ve come to learn, that home is not a place.

True, it is more often than not in the confines of one place…at least for a while… But the places change, and the memories remain. The people, the memoirs, the smells, the warmth…. That’s what make it home.

I find home in Adomawuraa’s naughty laughter after she’s poured all the milk into her mouth… Or her serious face when she says ‘Grandma, don’t do that!!’ maybe also in her outrageous crying for absolutely no reason at all…. Home is in Ohemaa’s happy face… NO. MATTER. WHAT! Or it’s in Boii’s annoying banter “Nana, I’m definitely taller than you!” Or in that side smile that daddy does when he’s half asleep and you ask him to go to bed.

Home is mommie’s colourful hair, and boho dressing, and Alex’s ‘quiet’ laugh. Her constant giggling that makes no sense. It’s in Dora’s dramatic long chatter, and her dance moves that never change!

Home is in mum’s joyful singing that can easily put you into a happy mood, and in Unyce’s ability to make anything sound animated….

Home is in Daddy’s long ‘things’ that will always happen every time we ask for money “Is it necessary? Your hair looks fine! Ah, what do you need another pair of shoes for?” Lol!

Home is in Yaw’s funny embrace… and in his contagious laughter, and the animated way his face gets contorted when he laughs… It can will make you laugh for no reason! Home is the smell of his shirts, and the ‘fights’ about shirt and shoe sizes, or most importantly, about wearing shorts! It’s in the way he can be having a normal day-to-day conversation, and still be talking as if he were in a board meeting. 😛

Home is not in Kumasi, or in Tema, or Accra, or in Winneba… Home is not in Ghana or in Malawi, or in Kenya or in the UK…. It’s not in any City or Country known.

Home is where my heart is when I’m trying to study all the many things they expect me to in school. It’s the first thought I have in the morning, when I wake up on Saturday, wishing it was Dad waking me up for Morning Devotions.

It’s in the smell of Coffee, and freshly fried pancakes. Home is Sunday Lunch, when the ‘Omo – Tuo’ is too hot, and I still want to use my hands! It’s in the ‘Ashanti-Man’ bragging that dad does just to make us all laugh “Hw3… wonnim me 3h?!”

Home…

It’s where my heart is all the time, no matter how far away I am. Home is where I can be me the most. Home is the best “place” in the world… Where my heart is full, and my soul refreshed…

 

And for all these and so much more, I can’t stop thanking you, dear God!

DON’T

So this is a post from a new friend. Althoug she prefers to keep herself anonymous. It’s a post that got me thinking about many things, and I hope you like it 😀

Don’t say you miss me, my heart gets confused.
Don’t call me late at night, keep me talking for hours on end.
Don’t make me reminisce, I don’t want to remember how good it was…

Don’t say you saw me, and I made you miss a step.
Don’t call me by that nickname, the one only you used to call me.
Don’t say you miss my lips, that you wish they were still yours to kiss.
Don’t keep me up, arguing names for children yet unborn.

Don’t pretend you still want me, when it’s only an itch you seek to scratch.
Don’t break down my walls, weaken my defenses, and then walk away.
Don’t have me believing in our future…..

when you know that for you, it will always, be her.

Lessons learnt

So she asked me…. “Would you do it all over again if you had the chance? Would you risk it all…again?”

I thought for a minute….

Life sort of flashed before me. Before. During. After.

I thought about the tears, the times when I had no idea what was going on. The times when I felt you were more in love with the idea of being in a relationship than you were with me. The times when I felt I wasn’t good enough for you….. Definitely not pretty enough – Heck, you were the pretty boy! Not fun enough. Not enough in any way.

I thought about the tears that no other man has ever made me cry…. (Not to say there have been many, but I don’t believe any other one can affect me that much).

Tears so hard I could barely breathe…. You know, the kind that makes you  feel dizzy for a few minutes, you think you’re seeing hell already, and then after a short bit, you’re back again, and then it’s heaves and tears and…. Ugh!

I thought about the random sadness that overcame me anytime I saw something that reminded me of you – of us. It was a queer creeping sadness that overtook me – often even before I realised it. Oh and since you pretty much branded my life, there was barely a place that didn’t cause this.

Bedroom? Your favourite rug, the hugs and kisses against the curtains, the paintings you made so much noise about … Kitchen? The only cutlery sets you would use if you bothered to use any. Living room? The movies….  The hunger games, Vehicle 49, the James Bonds… all those others! Restaurants? That Pork-dish that was made just the way you wanted it. The shops? Church? My car? You trademarked it all. You made me memories everywhere… you splashed yourself all over my life!

I thought about the coldness that was even worse than any fight could ever be. You got cold – cold, cold, cold! And of course I didn’t want to be pushy… the ‘calm’ is always better than the storm isn’t it? The fake smiles when deep inside, I was in bitter, desperate sobs! The one sided text messages…

 

Me: “Hey, how’re you doing? 😀 Did you have a good night?” [09:03am]

You: “Can I get back to you, kinda busy” [10:20am]

Me: “Sure… talk later :*” [10:24am]

2 hours…. 3, 4, 5, 6….. Many more hours later

Me: “Heya, I’m gonna go to bed now, talk tomorrow? :D” [11:32pm]

You: “OK.” [11:57pm]

 

Remember these kind of texts? Hahaha! Once in a while, when I think about them, I wonder why I didn’t just take a hint and stop…

I thought about the gifts I got you that I found discarded…

But then I thought about the fun we had.

We were good together. (At some point at least). We laughed! Oh what I wouldn’t give to have all that laughter back! We were crazy together. You were unpredictable, there was barely a dull moment. We had issues, but we evolved. We got better. We made a good team. You’d tickle me mercilessly, and I’d seek revenge…. You’d hug me for fifteen minutes straight and say nothing…

You’d dance with me, no matter how bad I was. You’d stare at me for long minutes and pretend you were not looking at me if I asked why.

Too spontaneous, too gorgeous… my real life McDreamy!

You defined romance – you made it real. I doff my hat to you there…. You were pretty good at that stuff!

So would I do it all again?

Heck Yes!

I’d go back to day one when I saw you and spoke to you and thought Heeeey…. Maybe I hit the jackpot. I’d go back to the first movie we watched together, that stupid first kiss… I’d go back and breathe in every second of all the time that we spent together. I’d hold you more often, hug you from behind a lot more. I’d make the memoirs even better… I wouldn’t care about the walk of shame or what people thought. I wouldn’t bother myself with the opinions of other people. I would go all out. I wouldn’t hold back. I wouldn’t be scared. (Well, maybe I still would be… but I’d try not to be.)

And when it all ends, I’ll remember to tell myself that it’s not me – I wasn’t insufficient. I wasn’t the reason. I wasn’t half bad – Heck, I am great. I am loved, and I am definitely more than enough!

I don’t know if you’d do it over if you had the chance – Chances are you won’t even get that chance – I don’t know if you’d do things differently. All I know is despite the hurt and the sadness and all that came and went, all that happened and all that didn’t, despite it all, we had really good times!

“I’m glad I didn’t know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance, [GOD] I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance”

Dear Annie…

Dear Annie,

You and I have gotten pretty close in the past couple of months, and I felt I need to write you this letter. You’re on your way to becoming the second sister I never had, and I’m really glad you and Ekow are getting along so much.

I know that you two have been going on and at it for a while now. You know already that we’re best friends, and I think there are a few things I need to tell you. They may seem a bit trivial, but they’re very important to me. You probably already know that Ekow isn’t like any other guy. He’s decent, and he’s loyal. He may be crazy and tall and intimidating to look at, but you already know how much of a softie he is. Ekow is amazing. That’s why I need you to hold on to him really really hard. I don’t want you to be the reason why he’ll write off women. Helen almost succeeded in doing that, but thank goodness for an intervention!

You seem like a really cool girl, and I like you. I want you to understand that I’m not a threat to your relationship in any way! I have never, and will never harbour any such ‘romantic’ feelings for Ekow. He’s my go to guy, and the best ‘big brother’ any girl could ask for. I know things will be different after the wedding. But know that I’ll always come through for him, no matter what. He’ll definitely put you first, but he’s my buddy, and I hope you won’t try to take that away from me.

Daniel and I dated three years, and have been engaged for about seven months (I know, I know… it’s been too long!). I know that you find it weird that Ekow could stay at my end for weekends without Daniel complaining. He’s been with me over three years, and he knows Ekow and I. He was jealous for a while, which of course is to be expected, but he got used to it. He knows that there’s no way in hell Ekow and I would even think about hooking up. If it would have happened, primary school would have been the place, and thank God he looked too damn hideous then. Lol

I like that you’re a fun person, nothing like Helen. She took the sunshine out of Ekow, but I see that it’s returning. Thanks for bringing him back.

Ekow has fallen for you, and he’s not the kind of guy to hide it. DO NOT take it for granted!! He will carry you in public, and he will kiss you in the cinema. He will open doors for you, and hold your hands when you guys go places – and I’m not talking about the first few months/years of the relationship – I’m talking forever. So brace yourself for an amazing rest of your life, if you do decide to say yes to him.

You’ll be present at almost every church programme during the week. I hope that doesn’t bother you, because it’s really important to him. He loves the Monday night youth service just as much as the Friday night all night services, even the once in a while Saturday afternoon bible studies (no, they’re not all that boring!)

One other thing is that Ekow hates lies. He cannot stand being lied to. As we all know, lying = cheating. His hatred for lies is on another level though. You can’t even tell the usual little white lies. Lol. Because he seems to have some weird gift that tells him when people tell lies. It makes it really difficult planning surprises for him, but that’s something I’ll have to coach you in. I’m glad you make him happy. I’m glad you don’t feel threatened by his craziness, (or by me) and I’m glad you’re crazy yourself.

Ekow will not have sex with you. He’ll give you all the reasons why he believes that if you can keep your relationship without sex till marriage, God will make something good of your lives. Believe it or not, Ekow will not so much as hint to you that he’s a red blooded male in that regard. If the situation starts to get too sizzling for him, he’ll simply leave and apologise later.

He’s a man of his word, and he’ll move heaven and earth to get you what you need, and as much as he can, what you want. He likes to be pampered, yet he resists it. I don’t know if it’s deliberate pretence or if he thinks that if you pamper him despite his resistance then you love him. Just pamper him as much as you can.

The last thing is about Henry. I know that Ekow chooses friends based on their reaction to and treatment of his baby brother. I know you and henry get along (or he’d never have asked you out). He’s as possessive over henry as their mum is over the two of them. With time, you’ll keep hearing him say ‘it’s just us three against the world’ Henry may have special needs, and he may be really annoying, but he’s just like his big brother . He’s awesome if you get to know him, and he’ll ruin many of your dates, but Ekow will always make it up to you. He’ll drool over your favourite shirt, and he’ll ruin a few of your handbags. But trust me, he’s an amazing kid! Get to know him, take him to play at the park, watch the same old cartoons with him, you’ll love him with time (if you don’t already). I think mum already likes you, she mentioned you once while I was there, and I’m sure that Ekow told you that doesn’t happen often – actually it never does.

So this is to let you know that I’m glad that you and Ekow are together, and I hope you catch the flowers at my wedding, because it’s about time!! 😉

ps. I’d love it if you would join my bridesmaids for the wedding?

The Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award!

sisterhoodoftheworldbloggersaward

So this is my first nomination in the ‘blog – world’ lol, Thanks a lot Joseyphina for the nomination. 😀 Feels nice! I’m honoured.

ps. If you’ve never read any of her stuff, please do Joseyphina’s World… She’s amazing, and she keeps me in constant suspense!!

My nominations:

  1. Maukeni Padiki Kodjo of Kenikodjo
  2.  Abena K of thoughtsofabekar
  3. Amoafoa of Amoafoa
  4. Karen of Okundayors Thoughts
  5. Ewurabena Hagan of Bitter Honey
  6. Rowie of Talkshop With Rowie

I’m truly inspired by all your writings to become more, to do better, and write better!

The rules of the Award are as follows:
• Put the Award logo on your blog;
• Thank the person who nominated you, linking back to his/her site;
• Answer 10 questions the person asked you;
• Nominate 10 blogs and notify them;
• Write 10 new questions for them.

So these are my answers :p

 1) Book or adapted movie?

Booook!!! That’s not even an allowed question, lol!

2)Movie or TV series?

Movie… the suspense involved in TV series doesn’t work for me… I might get a heart attack waiting for the next episode!

3) TV or radio?

Uuuhm….. can I say neither?
4) Time with friends or alone time?

Both! While I live for the time I spend with my friends,  I also enjoy spending quality time on my own…:D
5) Solo artiste or band?

Band!!
6) Watch movie alone or with family/friends?

Alone…. they tend to make me feel funny for tearing up or just plain sobbing when something sad happens lol Unless i’m watching with….. 😉
7) Stage play or music concert?

Stage Play!
8) Which would you find more tolerable: hater or sycophant?

Eerm…. Hater.
9) Paper magazines or online?

Paper Magazines – call me old fashioned :p
10) Talkative or listener?

Depends on who you are lol… I can be good at both 😉


And now my questions to my dear nominees :

  1. Tea or Coffee?
  2. Favourite Author?
  3. Favourite Book?
  4. Favourite song?
  5. A time in your life you’d kill for to go back to?
  6. Share a life – changing moment for you.
  7. Novels – Hard copy or soft copy?
  8. Food – Sweet or Sour?
  9. If you could decide a law to be passed on earth, what would it be?
  10. Finally: Something Random…. anything, really!

Let’s make this fun guys!! And thanks again Joseyphina ;D

‘The Friend Zone’

There are times when I wonder what exactly this ‘zone’ is ….

We’re friends right? Or are we more?  Am I like a brother?

What exactly would you call me if your mother asked honestly…?

There are the days when you’re cooking for me, and concerned if I actually like your cooking,

The times when we can talk for hours on end, about our dreams and the future and what things will end up like for us.

And then there are days when you’re actively ignoring me…

There are days when you’re all up and into him, and there are the other days when it’s me you can’t seem to be without.

I find it so hard to get things in the right perspective.

I know I haven’t made my intentions explicitly known.

And you can’t blame me for that.

I’m scared.

Scared that it’s going to be him and not me.

Scared that you’ll decide that I was merely a fling – or worse, a ‘bestie’

Scared that after all this…. After my heart has fallen so hopelessly and so desperately in love with you, that you’re going to say that we never really had a future.

Naana… you’re one of the few ladies I know that has a sensible outlook and opinion about life.

This is to let you know my intentions.

I’m not a coward. I’m not sending you this so I don’t have to face the answer.

I’m sending this because I know that my presence or absence will not make much of a difference in your decision. So here goes:

I’m in love with you. I’m in love with your attitude to life, and your strong opinions. I’m in love with the way you say my name, and your ability to hold back your laughter and postpone it for a later, more ‘appropriate time.’Even your random mood swings tug at my heart… well, sometimes. I fall in love with you more every time I hear you say “Uncle Dzaarling” in that way that only you can say it. I would love it if you would consider spending the rest of your life with me. I would be thrilled!

As you already know, I don’t believe in ‘experimental dating’. This is the real deal to me. This is the prelude to getting on one knee and saying please be my wife.

I don’t want you to feel cornered in making your decision – not that I think you will. But I just want you to know that whatever it is you decide, I hope things remain the same. I hope we can continue to aggressively tease each other. I hope we can still laugh so hard that the professors ask us to get a grip! I hope we can talk about your stupid other crushes, and how your infatuations can literally last seconds! But hey, most of all, I hope you don’t stop cooking for me.

But if things do change… If we ever grow distant,

If we lose the bond that’s kept us me happy for the past three years,

If for some reason, you can never get back to calling me ‘uncle dzaaarling’

Just know that no matter what happens… no matter how long it takes… no matter who I fall in love with (If at all I do) or who I end up making a family with, you’ll always be that one.

That one girl that made me realise that happiness can happen every single day. That made me realise that love is truly a beautiful thing.

You’re an awesome person. Inside and out. I realise I’ve never said any of this to you before. You’re my muse. You trigger so many sentiments in me. You make me happy, and I love you.

Ebow

It’s been a while. This letter is dedicated to the few who truly understand 😀

It’s based on a true life story.