Karla’s Story IV

And finally, we’ve come to the end!! Thank you everyone, for all the feedback, and the low-key threats here and there, Haha! I hope you enjoy the final part! Again, if you missed any of the previous parts, you can find the first part here, the second part here, and the third here!

 

“H3rh, Akwei, you fool too much!”

It had been close to two weeks since he’d spoken to Karla (Actually, it was 11 days, 4 hours, and a couple of minutes – but no, he really wasn’t counting, he just knew, somehow).

He’d told her that he needed some time, to get over the situation, and to ‘work out his schedule’. She didn’t fight it. She’d just quietly told him to take all the time he needed. He didn’t have the courage to ask what was on his mind – would she wait for him? Would she be upset if it took him months to figure everything out? He had felt like a coward. But then he didn’t want an answer he couldn’t deal with. So he left it.

“I really hope that this time, she leaves you. Because if she doesn’t, you’ll be there thinking no matter what happens she’ll be there. She naa, her tail is hot… she can replace you in a minute. You know that girl is the jackpot!!”

They hadn’t spoken at all. No calls, no messages. No random swinging by the others house – she was often the one to do that. And he hadn’t even seen her in church on Sunday – she didn’t show up!

He didn’t know what exactly he needed the break for… maybe to figure out if he would be fine if they ended it? Or to give her some space to decide if she still wanted him? Or maybe he was just too proud to accept the fact that he had a part to play in all that had happened? He really did not know.

They boys were all singing so loudly to Ackah Blay and Cabum’s song– mostly half drunk, ‘Ladies and Gents, are you ready now, we are taking the girls away…… we are taking the girls away… whatever you do, I will take you home… I will take you home tonight…’ It was quite a sight.

Prince looked him in the eye for a couple of seconds “Akwei, Somebody go take your girl away ooh!”

The past week had been different for him. He found himself checking his phone more often than usual, just in case she sent a message. He looked out for her at church on Sunday – she wasn’t there. There was nobody to remind him that he needed to call his sisters kids. He loved them dearly, but somehow, he never remembered to call them. It was always K that reminded him to. In the past week, he’d eaten so many weird meals from the cafeteria at the office. Usually, he and K would cook on the weekends, and he would pack a meal for lunch at work every day. He got back from work extra tired; yet he missed hearing her whine about colleagues or people from work. She would talk for about an hour sometimes, and to be frank, half the time he was not listening.

Just like he presently wasn’t listening to Prince. He’d passed by his place for drinks with some of the other guys – they all did that on most Friday nights, but he hardly ever joined them. He went today because he needed a distraction. But Prince wasn’t helping. Nothing was helping.

He didn’t want to talk about his foolhardiness or about Karla. He just wanted to be distracted.

Why do you want to be distracted? What are you waiting for? You expect that she’s waiting?

He still had a lot on his mind. He knew he loved her, and though he knew he was part to blame, it didn’t change the feeling of betrayal he still harboured. Or maybe it was just too much male ego, he couldn’t even tell. All he knew was that he missed her, and he didn’t know if after all the sacrifices she’d made for him, this was reason enough to let it all go.

Karla is an amazing woman! She’s stuck by you this long, when all you’ve done is pretty much work! You need to stop being petty! 

His mind was playing games with him. How on earth does sticking by him amount to finding her way into another man’s arms?

She did not willingly sleep with him. She made silly choices, Yes. But she did not deliberately cheat on you!

He left the place even more agitated than when he’d gotten there. He’d significantly worked on his schedule over the past two weeks. He delegated the things he knew could be done, and he planned his work hours out properly. Even if he didn’t end up with Karla in the end, he knew that nobody wanted a workaholic – even his mother had recently started to complain about it!

He got to his apartment late, and decided that he would pray. It was high time he did something about this situation. This ‘break time’ needed to either be over or end in a break-up.

*                            *                            *                            *                            *                            *

Karla had decided she would be okay. Not everything lasted. Not everyone worked out. There would be other guys. Besides, being alone didn’t look bad at all. After Akwei left her house that Monday night, she’d made some decisions. She wasn’t going to be the victim of any situation. She made her bed, and she was damn prepared to lie in it!

She’d had a busy week, and that weekend, she’d decided she’d do a road trip. She needed to get it all together. She decided to visit a village in Kwahu, a city in one of the mountainous regions. Her plan was to just drive, with loud music, the wind in her hair, see some places, and maybe climb a trail. All alone of course.

And she did! She had an awesome time! She left on Friday, and returned Sunday afternoon. She met a group from one of the banks, having a retreat at the hotel she lodged in. They seemed like nice people, and one guy in particular paid her a lot more attention than normal. She knew his kind, and she definitely wasn’t ready for any more drama. So she left quietly that Sunday afternoon, avoiding them at all cost, so she wouldn’t even be asked for a phone number.

She made sure she filled up her week well. She didn’t want to have time to mope about Akwei. If he wanted a break, she was okay with it. But she knew that this was likely the end – she might as well get used to the single life.  She was enjoying one of those quiet Friday nights, playing late night scrabble with Rama, when she suddenly felt an urge to call him. She missed him. She knew that well. And that was why she’d made sure she was too busy to pine. She didn’t think that he would last two weeks. If he’d lasted that long, he had probably done a good job of starting to move on. She would have called. But he was the one who asked for the break. If he wanted, he would have called.

Knowing him, he’s probably still at work! Or maybe he actually moved on?

Her sadness was gradually turning to ire. She didn’t want to think about him. Long after Rama had gone to bed, she lay in bed, thinking about the many beautiful times they’d had together, and trying hard to not cry.

 


 

It was 3am, and he still hadn’t slept a wink. There were so many things he wanted to go back and tell Karla. But he knew he probably wouldn’t be able to. He knew that one look at her, and he might not be able to say them all. She’d always been the outspoken one, speaking her mind all the time. He wasn’t that way. Maybe he’d write a note. Or type it, and maybe email it to her? Sitting alone in his own bedroom, he felt nervous. This was not his territory. What would be appropriate to say? What would she want him to say? What did he actually want to say? Maybe it was best to end it? Or maybe he would say he’d forgiven her? And ask for forgiveness too? He really was clueless.

Eight different crumpled letters later, he settled on what he thought would be safe to send. What would communicate his feelings and explanations the best. It was 6.30 am when he finished showering and got ready to drive to hers. He knew she wouldn’t be up till about 9am, but Rama did a weekend jog, usually around 7am… she would let him into the house. If he didn’t leave before all the courage left him. He would never be able to.

 

He got to their house, and just as he’d expected, Rama was getting ready for her jog. He didn’t know how much she knew, but she looked very surprised to see him. She let him in and left. He wondered what Mr. Arthur was going to think if he woke up and found him in his sleeping daughter’s room – that maybe he snuck in at night? He didn’t want to think about that. And besides, Rama was the one who let him in.

As usual, Karla was curled up in a ball in one corner of the bed. She was not decent, and for about two minutes, he stood at the door, staring at her. He quickly covered her up, his mind was wandering to unsafe territories – he didn’t need that. Once again, he lay on the bed across from her, and waited for her to wake up. This time, he couldn’t sleep. He kept stealing glances at her, her face was calm, and her mouth slightly open. Most of her hair had come out of the ponytail she’d tied. She shifted slightly, and uncovered her thighs. He knew that he should cover her up again, but this time he just wanted to enjoy the view. The beautiful love of his life that he’d almost lost. And once again, he hoped that she hadn’t given up on them.

When she woke up, she saw Akwei looking at her. It was definitely a dream. How did he get in, and when? And why was he smiling?

She reached out to touch his face, causing the cloth to fall from her chest. She wasn’t exactly bothered – it was a dream anyway. Maybe she missed him so much, that her mind had resorted to dreams.

But then she touched the face, and actually felt it. He was still there. He was staring at her chest.

Akwei swallowed hard, and then with all the mental strength he could muster, returned his gaze to her face… she looked as if she was living a dream. She was smiling and reaching out to touch his face. He couldn’t say anything. He was willing his mind to not dwell on her half nakedness. But he was lying in a bed with her, and she was awake… and half naked!

Karla realised she was probably not dreaming.

“Akwei… what are you doing here… and how did you get here?” she knew she had morning breath – she could smell it herself. But she really couldn’t be bothered.

He still wasn’t saying anything. When he managed to form words, he asked her to put on some clothes. She was still obviously surprised. She went inside the bathroom to brush her teeth, and came back in a T-shirt and apparently, nothing else.

“I’m going to make a coffee, would you want one?” He nodded. He needed some time to get his mind back to the matter at hand. She was gone for about fifteen minutes, and returned with his coffee. As usual, she had her coffee black, strong and very sweet. He had his without sugar, but with a lot of cream.

She knew how to make him a good coffee. Always had.

She sat on the bed, holding her mug to her lips, and looking at him. He still couldn’t form the words he wanted to say.

“How have you been?” she shrugged. “Quite good. I drove to Kwahu over the past weekend. It was very lovely. I would have done that paragliding thing if it was the season…” He wanted to ask if she went alone. And if not, who had she gone with? He couldn’t bring himself to ask.

“That’s nice. He took a large gulp of his coffee.” Her lack of proper clothing was not helping his ‘tongue-twistedness’.

K, I… wrote you… a letter.” He stuttered.

She almost choked on her coffee. She knew Akwei never wrote letters. Even when he’d been in high school, he’d according to his friends, been one of those guys that would never reply a letter.

Okay… what’s it about?” she was quite wary; she placed her coffee mug on the floor, and she drew closer to him.

She seemed oblivious of the fact that all he could think about at that moment was the fact that underneath the T-shirt, she didn’t have anything on. She was eager to see the letter!

He finished his coffee, and put away the mug, determined to get his mind out of the gutter. He took out the letter. “I want to read it to you.” She was even more surprised.

Who was this, and where was her Akwei?

They were sitting facing each other now. He brought out the letter, and started to read.

 

My dear K,

This is the first note I’ve ever written. You’ve always known it’s not my thing. But it’s probably very long overdue. I may sound stupid. But I don’t know if I’ll have the courage to say all I need to say. So I decided to learn from you, and write this.

Remember the night I asked you out? You had a dazed look on your face – you hadn’t seen it coming, and you were flustered – pretty close to hysteric. You were not prepared.

I think that’s what I’ve been feeling lately. I didn’t see this coming. I have never ever imagined you in the arms of another man – I never wanted to. But for the past few weeks, I’ve battled with my mind on so many things. The worst of them is the feeling that you were with someone else.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I had a large role to play in all of it. I spoke to Mama – not about this situation of course, but generally about you and I. She told me that no woman wants to marry a man and then come second to his job – or to anything or anyone else. She’s been calling me a workaholic for some time now.

K, I want to explain to you, that I never meant for it to get this far. I didn’t think that I would be so engrossed with my work that I would neglect you. My motive right from the start, was to be enough for you. To be able to provide for you. Your aunt Kuukua talked to me about the kind of wedding I need to give you. And I know the kind of life your dad has provided for you. I need to be able to fit in his shoes. I want to be able to provide for the many sons you want to have one day. I’m not justifying any of this, I just want you to understand that I didn’t mean for it to get this bad. I love my job, no doubt about that. And I’ve managed to work my way up the ranks. But I should never have made it happen at our expense. I should never choose anything over you.

Over the past couple of days, I’ve had the chance to think. I don’t think that my reaction towards all that happened was appropriate. I should have been there for you when it all happened. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t. I should have thought about you first – I can’t imagine the kind of things you felt. I know you – you probably kept it all under wraps, and suffered it all alone. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to hold you when you needed me to.

He noticed a tear drop onto her shirt. He didn’t want to stop till he was done. But he didn’t want this to make her cry. For a minute he was torn. He looked at her, and she was looking down at her legs. He carried on.

I’ve thought about showing up at Kobby’s office, and giving him a sound beating (believe me, this has crossed my mind so often!), I’ve considered sending him a stern warning about you. I’ve considered so many things. But I figured that if I hadn’t created the opening, he wouldn’t have ever gotten into the picture.

No matter how much I of my fault this was, I still want you to know that I don’t want to ever have thoughts of you in the arms of another man. I know that there are a lot of them out there that deserve a woman like you. I know that you’re a big gift from God to me, and I don’t deserve all the sacrifices that you’ve made for me in the past. So if at any point in time, you begin to want more, just let me know. You deserve so much more! This time, I’m prepared to go wherever you need me to. I think it’s high time I started working just as hard at this relationship as I was at my job.

So today, I want to make some promises to you… they’re not going to be easy to keep, and I’m going to constantly need you to keep me in check. But I promise to work hard on this.

He reached out and held her right hand, and moved her next to him, so that they were sitting side by side now.

I promise to make time for you. Not just now when I’m relatively at the top of my job. Even when there are the struggles and big decisions to be made. Even when I have projects to work on, or deadlines to meet, you will come first.

I will listen to you. I won’t just hear you talk, I will hear you out, and listen to all you say. I realised yesterday that too often when we talk after work, I really only just hear you talk. I can barely remember any of the details of what you say. So I promise to listen to you.

I promise to start doing all of the mushy stuff that I never do. It will be weird, but I’ll get the hang of it. I’ll put my phone away and hold your hand. And I’ll cook for you for a change – I think I’ve gotten enough pointers from you to make a decent meal! I’ll take you somewhere you’ve always wanted to go to.

And finally, I promise to return to praying with and for you… It took all this for me to realise how long it’s been since I prayed sincerely. I took it for granted that everything was going so well. Thank you for jolting me back to reality.

I love you K, and I’m sorry for all of this. You also need to promise me though, that this will not happen again… nothing remotely close to this! 

Remember that song you made us listen to for about ten thousand times on our trip to Aburi?

“…If in the dark we lose sight of love, hold my hand and have no fear, cos’ I will be here.

I will be here when you feel like being quiet, when you need to speak your mind, I will listen.

And I will be here when the laughter turns to crying, through the winning losing and trying, we’ll be together – cos I will be here.

I will be here so you can cry on my shoulder, when the mirror tells us we’re older, I will hold you.

And I will be here to watch you grow in beauty, and tell you all the things you mean to me.

I will be here.

I will be true to the promise I have made….”

 

She didn’t let him finish. She wrapped her hands around his neck, and buried her face in the crook of his neck. The movement was so sudden, that it startled him. He let go of the paper, and hugged her back. He wondered if it would be appropriate to ask her then about marriage.

Akwei remembered Prince’s words. He’d indeed hit the jackpot with Karla!

 

 

THE END.

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Karla’s Story III

So, today’s post comes earlier than usual, as a ‘birthday present‘ for Andriana! Happy Birthday Miss Adams! This is the penultimate part of Karla’s story… I hope you like it! If you missed the first part, you can find it here, and the second part, here! It’s quite a long one, and I hope you like it!

 

The shock she felt registered first in her heart, and then her mind. She didn’t know where all the rage came from, but it threatened to knock the wind out of her!

Her first instinct was to slap him! Slap the thought out of him! She had not had an affair! She had been stupid, yes, but it didn’t give him the right to imply that she’d had an affair!

She was at a loss for words. She felt guilty enough as it was, and this accusation wasn’t making things any better.

“Akwei Coffie, Get. Out. Of. My. House.!” she said it very calmly. Yet it was laced with pure anger. How dare he accuse her of having an affair? Is this what affairs looked like to him?

He was surprised. He knew his choice of words was probably wrong, but that didn’t warrant him being kicked out of her house. She had after all been with someone else!

“And now do you think there’s any wonder I didn’t tell you about this?”

Just then, Rama walked into the room. ‘’K, I heard you coughing…….” She stopped mid-sentence when she saw Akwei. She could tell something was wrong. Karla was pointing at the door, and she didn’t look happy – heck she was trembling!

“Hey, guys is everything okay? I just heard her coughing, and then it stopped, then she started again.”

Neither of them was saying anything. They both looked as if they could kill the other.

“Okay, well… I suppose I will come back later?”

When she left, Karla sat back on the bed. “I did not have an affair….” She paused for a bit, trying to hold back the memories from her mind.”  “I suppose I got too comfortable with the wrong person.”

He was silent for a while. “K, I have work early tomorrow. I should leave now.” Without really thinking, she shut her eyes tightly to stop the tears from falling. Exactly what she hated – her rage turning into tears.

“Of course, Akwei, go…. Go to work early tomorrow. Come back late too. Make your boss happy – Oh I keep forgetting, you’re kind of the boss now! Well go and make your job happy, excite your clients… and of course enjoy the company of your secretary too. Make all the money in the world! One day, when it’s too late, you’ll realise that some things matter more than others!”

With that, she went and held out the door for him to leave.

“K, we will talk about this tomorrow.”

She stared blankly at him, and started to shut the door. She knew it was going to be really long night!!

It was 11:13 when Akwei sat in his car. He felt drained. For about five minutes, he sat in the car, staring into space. He didn’t even know where to start handling this from. He would call Prince in the morning. Prince was his ‘no filter’ friend who always told the story as it was. He didn’t try to please anyone, and he was often the most sensible of the boys. He was the person that could speak sense into his head the most. Many times, Prince had told him that Karla deserved a lot more than he was giving her. His answer was always the same –

“That’s why I keep working my ass of so she can have what she deserves soon.” He’d always known that it wasn’t the money Prince meant. And soon was very relative.

It was 3:00am when he finally managed to fall into a fitful dreamless sleep. He’d been up the whole time wondering. He realised how long it’d been since he really prayed. Of course there was the morning ritual he did before work, which included a 5 minute prayer and reading of a verse or 2 from the bible. But he hadn’t said a heartfelt prayer in a very long time.

“Dear God, I don’t know how to deal with this. I’m scared that I may have pushed her into the arms of a man who probably hurt her. But I’m upset that she couldn’t deal with my temporary situation. What happens if we get married and either of us has to travel for a while? Why did this happen? Do I confront the guy and warn him? How did this even happen? Please help me …. No, help us deal with this.”

He felt so helpless.

 


 

When Karla woke up in the morning, she felt sick. She called in at the office, and asked a friend to do work on her urgent stuff for her, and then she sent an email to their boss. She kept wondering where Akwei read the letter up to, to think she was having an affair. Maybe the first paragraph was all that he got to. She was mad at herself and at him. Maybe there was a reason for all of this. Four years together didn’t mean that it had to be forever. That thought made her sad. They’d had some really good times together. He was a lovely man. The kind of man her mother would have approved hands down. Her dad liked him, and her aunties were always asking when they were planning on getting married.

They’d cornered him one time and told him how Fantis never organise  small weddings. One of her young aunties had given him a vivid account of what happened in their family weddings – how they didn’t entertain cocktails or small receptions – there had to be a variety of dishes, and the venue must be big enough as theirs was a large family! She told him that he ought to find good caterers, cos’ their family members were made up of  “big time connoisseurs“! At the time they’d laughed at her so much, cos’ Karla knew she was exaggerating. Besides, she wanted a very modest wedding. They’d done so many road trips together, especially in the first two years of their relationship.

She hated that she’d allowed herself to destroy all that. But she was prepared to be brave about it. If he wanted out, she’d let him go – she felt like damaged goods to him anyway! But before that, she’d explain to him that not every girl wanted a house full of money, with a husband who wasn’t there.

All she did that morning though, was mourn her apparent loss.

 


 

Akwei walked into Prince’s office without realising that his shoulders were slumped. Prince was always a tease, and much as he made sense, it never came without some name calling and insults.

“I have a feeling that K has finally left your stupid ass!” Akwei couldn’t even muster a smile. He felt as if he had lost her. “I knew she’d leave you! You’ve married yourself to your work for over a year, and you expect that she’ll remain there waiting for you? ” he continued with some Fanti expletives.

“She hasn’t left me…. But I think she had an affair.”

Prince looked astounded. He knew Karla well. Knew she would never be capable of anything of that sort. She had a crazy heart in her, but she was loyal and forgiving, almost to a fault!

“Okay, now you have my attention – what the hell is going on?!”

When he had finished his narration, Prince was quiet. Which was odd, because normally he would laugh at him or something of the sort.

“Akwei, you are a fool! Ohwie waa!! Your woman was manhandled by another man, and all you could think of was that she had an affair? Wait, tell me, which part of your story did the so –called affair happen in?”

“Ah Charlie, she stated categorically that she was enjoying his hugs and the way he looked at her – all of that. What else would qualify it as an affair?! And how do I know for sure that it wasn’t consensual?”

Prince knew that his friend had probably lost his mind. He sat in front of him, and called him a fool in every language he knew how!

“K is a loyal girl… too loyal mpo. How many times have I told you that if she were any other girl she would have left your ass?! She did not have an affair, she fell into a smart man’s ruse… or maybe she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, I don’t know! She wanted you, you were not there – And Akwei, I know you, even when you’re there physically, it’s just your body that’s there! Your mind is on some stupid contract or plan or promotion! So she enjoyed the attention Kobby gave her – saa akoa no, Ͻyξ slick!!

Akwei, I’m even surprised it was just Kobby. Cos I know that the really dark guy from the evangelism wing has had his eyes on K… and then the pastor’s younger brother too, that UK bad boy no… You think if it was affair she wanted, she wouldn’t have gotten any of these guys? And she didn’t even keep this Kobby from you. You met him, she told you about him – you probably didn’t even listen! When was the last time you kissed the girl…? Wodeξ maybe you’ll tell me that woyξ asore boy, nti I won’t even ask about sex. Fine. But tell me the last time you planned time with her. Took her out somewhere, and kept work away from it. I know you haven’t done that in at least 8 months – because the promotion was 8 months ago meboa???”

Akwei was too shocked for words. Not because Prince was being too forward, he knew his friend, it was his nature. But because he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d even held her hand. His hugs were always the 5 second goodbye hugs at his car or hers when they were departing.  He sat there with his head in his palms, sweating, and wondering if indeed all this was his fault.

“Hmmm…. Akwei, if you lose Karla, I can say almost completely confidently, that any other girl you find will probably want you just for the money. And now that you have enough of it stop working like a greedy bastard and marry the girl! Go on a vacation”

He looked at his watch, it was almost midday. He hadn’t been out of his office for this long in ages. He left Princes office feeling like a fool. He didn’t know how to go about the whole situation. Was he supposed to just go and apologise? What about what she did? That didn’t make it right? Plus he wasn’t exactly good at apologies. He was so distraught.

After he had his secretary to cancel all his appointments. He stayed locked up in his office for about an hour, wondering what he was going to do, praying and trying to figure out a way to forgive her, and then make things right.

 

He called her number and it was off. Called Rama who didn’t pick up. He didn’t want to panic. He called her office and was told she hadn’t been to work. Before he called her father, Rama called back “Hey Rama, is K okay?”

She seemed hesitant, but then she responded

Not exactly. She cried a lot this morning, but she was quite okay when I was leaving. Daddy says he gave her some of the sedating tea thing when he went home for lunch, I think. So I’m guessing she’s asleep.”

“Okay thanks. I’ll pass by.”

“Akwei I hope you haven’t done anything to her? She refuses to tell anyone why she’s upset, and she made daddy promise not to call you.”

He felt guilt tug at him – raw painful guilt, threatening to engulf him.

“Well, I’m not so sure… – but I’ll just go over and check on her.”

 

She was really asleep. Curled up in a ball in the corner as usual. She wasn’t wearing much, and he felt himself start to react to her body. She had an amazing body. Though she was quite small, she had the hips and behind of the typical Ugandan woman. She was often self-conscious about it, but he felt it was a body any woman would be proud to have – it was a body that many men wanted!

Why haven’t you ever told her?

He willed himself not to think about her body – waking up to find her boyfriend sitting in her bed with an erection did not sound like a good thing. There were more pressing issues.

He took off his tie, his shoes and socks and lay on the bed across from her. He kept praying that it wouldn’t be too late.

It was 3.42pm when she started stirring. It woke Awei up – he hadn’t realised he’d been this tired – he didn’t even realise he’d nodded off. He waited for her to notice that he was there, before saying anything.

She looked surprised. Probably thought she was dreaming. He tried to smile, but the weight of the whole situation made it almost impossible. He really felt like he had lost her.

“K… tell me what happened.”

She was quiet for about a minute. Battling if she should tell him or not.

“Akwei, I thought about it today and realised you were right. I did have an affair. And although for the greater part, it wasn’t a physical affair, it was still an affair.”

“I liked all the attention that Kobby gave me. I craved it sometimes. He was mostly a gentleman. He opened doors, and pulled chairs and all of that.  He always knew exactly what to say, and how to say it,. And anytime we were out somewhere, I had his full attention. I think that’s why I didn’t state an emphatic no when he made advances at me. All my nos were very playful. He knew about you of course, you even met him that evening after I’d had lunch with him.

That morning,  we’d planned to see a movie together. when I went to his place, he tried to kiss me. I knew that I should stop him, but I didn’t. And by the time I had enough sense to stop him, it was too late, he… he was not listening to me. He just kept on….plunging. It was … ” She paused to suppressed a sob that tried to escape.

“It was ….painful, and humiliating, and very scary. And I was mad at myself for letting it happen. “ She had her hands clenched into fists, still battling the urge to cry.

Akwei hadn’t expected it to be so difficult listening to her. He wanted the truth, but he felt like he couldn’t deal with it. She did not stop him when he tried to kiss her. He knew he probably had a part to play in it, but he could not let go of the obvious fact – she had been with another man, and to a large extent, very willingly.

“Do you still talk to him? Do you still see movies with him?”

“No, Akwei.” She was surprised at herself. At how calm she suddenly was… almost too peaceful about what she saw coming.

“Prince thinks that this was my fault. That I didn’t make enough time for you. That your infidelity had to do with my job”

She didn’t know how to answer that. The word infidelity was to painful to hear! She knew Prince, and could almost picture him blaming Awkei.

They were both quiet for a long while.

“There were times when I felt that way. That I would never have your full attention, that I would always be second place to your job. It doesn’t excuse my actions. But I may not have felt needy enough to fall into someone else’s arms if things were different”

Akwei couldn’t think straight. He quietly looked at the wall behind her for what seemed like eternity. He knew he should be more upset about the fact that he had hurt her, but somehow his mind was dwelling more on the fact that she had gone to him willingly!

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to forgive you, K…. especially for keeping it from me for so long. It makes me wonder if you’d do it again.”

“Do what again?” “Never mind, I understand.” She was quite astounded, but didn’t feel like fighting. And she was tired of all the “please make more time for me” stunts that she’d had to pull ever so often in the past. This was probably the time to let go. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes. But she wasn’t about to cry. She was still determined to not cry.

He reached over and pulled her closer to him. The last time he did something like this with her was close to a year ago. He was watching a documentary on the finance course he was taking at that time in his couch and she was determined to worry his life! So he’d held her still, as close to him as possible, until she gave up and fell asleep. She remembered it so well….

And now it was all probably going to be over…

To be continued …

 


Ohwie waa – You are very silly

Saa akoa no, Ͻyξ slick – That guy is slick!

Meboa? – Am I telling lies?

Wodeξ maybe you’ll tell me that woyξ asore boy – Maybe you’ll tell me you’re a church boy

 

 

 

Karla’s Story II

Hi everyone, as promised, this is a second part of Karla’s story… I hope you like it! If you missed the first part, you can find it here.

Akwei woke up with a start. The lights outside had all been turned on, so Karla was definitely still around. He knew she’d be mad. Even he would be if she’d do this. But why hadn’t she woke him up? It was almost 9pm! He half-run, half-walked to the kitchen. He saw the covered plate of food, and then the note. This wasn’t good. She must have been really upset. She wasn’t one to be quiet over the things that upset her. She would speak her mind, and then have it over and done with. This was new.

He called her phone two times, and got no answer. There had to be something wrong. He found his car keys, locked up, and drove to her house – all the while, wondering what kind of apology would appease her. She was overly forgiving, that he knew. But it looked as if his luck had run out this time!

When he got to the house, Mr. Arthur was on the phone in the front garden. He smiled and waved Akwei into the house. No one was in the living room, so he knew she’d be up in her room. He knocked on the door, and walked in when she didn’t respond. She was fast asleep on the left corner of the bed. She always slept that way. Balled up in a tiny bundle. He found it cute. She said it was practical – she could sleep well even if she had half a student mattress!

She had her laptop open, and a pen and paper on it. It looked like she had fallen while writing him a note.

He missed that – her notes. In the first year and half of their relationship, she’d written him so many notes. There were the really deep, sometimes naughty love letters that surprised him at the time, (because he had thought her to be a very naïve and conservative girl), and there were those random ‘I saw a spider with 7 leg today – why would someone cut off one leg and leave the rest?’ or the ‘don’t you think I’d look good as a peacock’ notes – even the ‘I really wish you hadn’t said this to me/done that’ notes were quite cute. He also remembered with a tightening chest why she’d stopped writing them.

He’d gotten an ‘urgent call’ one evening while they were together, she had just handed him the note, and was watching him read it when the call came in. He didn’t realise that he’d tossed it aside and rushed to get dressed to leave. He needed to get back to the office to prepare for an unplanned appointment the next morning. She insisted that he could go earlier than usual in the morning to work on it, or work on it later from home. But he wasn’t having it. ‘Karla I’m not like you. If I want to make headway with this job, I have to work my ass off. I don’t see why I should sit here reading silly notes when I have something this big to work on – the note will always be here, I’ll read it later.’ She didn’t say a word. Just watched him dress up and leave, and that was the last time he ever got a note from her. He’d apologised many times, and she forgave eagerly. Yet there had never been another note!

This was probably going to be an ‘I can’t believe you ditched me all afternoon and then fell asleep afterwards’ kind of note

He smiled at himself. He really couldn’t thank God enough for bringing her into his life. She was a storm once in a while, a great thunderbolt on a few occasions, but more often than not, she really was his sunshine!

 

Dear Kobby,

I’m writing this to you, as a final step in getting rid of my own guilt. This a note to let you know that I don’t blame you.

When we became friends a couple of months ago, I honestly enjoyed your company. You seemed like the kind of friend that would always have my back! We could talk about any and everything, and we could argue over pretty much everything. You made time for me – although now I can’t tell if all that was just a build up to you trying to get into my pants.

 

He couldn’t believe what he was reading. His heart was beating so fast, and without realising it, he’d clenched his hand into a fist.

 

I’ve seen all of the messages you’ve been sending me since the incident. Truth is, I didn’t have the heart to reply any of them. I couldn’t really understand you. I couldn’t understand how in one minute, you could become the brute you became. I was literally screaming from the pain… I felt hurt and betrayed, and there was so much fear… but you didn’t listen. I don’t think I can ever get that morning out of my head! Do you know that it was the first time I’d had an asthma attack in 6 years? And on all those nights when it comes back to haunt me, I wake up coughing, and breathless, and wishing I had stabbed you that day!

I have a boyfriend that loves me, and he’s a lovely man. You already know this – we discussed Akwei so often! He’s not perfect, no man can be. There’s often a communication lag between me and him, and then there’s the whole work and busy schedule thing. But he loves me, and I love him a lot more. But now I fear that you’ve ruined me for him!

The only reason I never said a serious no to your advances, was because I enjoyed them. I  won’t lie. I liked it when you looked at me, or gave me lingering hugs. I liked how you’d look me straight in the eyes whenever I talked, and how you’d pay attention to every little thing I said. You made me feel wanted again. 

I should have seen your advances as danger signs and ended the friendship – or whatever it is that it was. But I allowed myself to fall into a trap.

For a long time I thought that you broke me – you took away something that I can never have back. Nonetheless, I don’t blame you. I could have stopped it, but I didn’t. I was the enabler, and my guilt has been beyond this world ever since. It’s made me into a shell of the person I was. But definitely, I’ll rise!

I just want you to think about me every time another vulnerable ‘friend’ comes into your life. You have it in you to be a good person – I don’t doubt that. But that pride… it needs to go. And I pray you never prey on the weakness of another woman, because maybe with her, the fear won’t overcome the rage. Maybe she’ll actually stab you with a kitchen knife!

 I want you to know that much as it’s taken me a while, I have forgiven myself for allowing this to happen. I can’t say yet that I have forgiven you – but then I’m only human, I am a work in progress. Who knows, one day I may be able to pass by you somewhere and hear your voice without having a panic attack. I may even be able to say hello, without reliving the past. That day might come.

But until that day, I want you to know that I have found a way to be able to look at myself in the mirror without wanting to throw up. I hope that your guilt – if you had any, changes you. I hope it takes away the pride that I failed to acknowledge in you. I hope that it teaches you to treat a woman with respect, no matter how much weakness she shows you.

Thanks to you, I’ve learnt a lesson – a couple of lessons actually….

 

None of it made sense to him.  Karla slept with Kobby? Wait, Kobby hurt Karla? He was so confused. Why didn’t she say anything? Why did she enjoy his hugs? Didn’t he hug her enough? Did he kiss her?

Why wouldn’t she when you’re constantly working? When was the last time you just hugged her?

He felt a pang of guilt.

No this was not his fault. He wouldn’t go feeling guilty over his girlfriend’s infidelity. She had to be at fault. Probably why she became so withdrawn a couple of months ago. And that would definitely explain why she had run off when they met Kobby in the supermarket. And she really didn’t bother him about making time for her anymore – she was having a good time in someone else’s arms!

He was livid! Why didn’t she just tell him to hug her more, if that’s what she wanted? Was he supposed to be a mind reader? Humph!

Don’t kid yourself, Akwei. You wouldn’t have listened. Can you count the number of times she’s had to literally beg you to reply your emails later when she’s not around, to make a little more time for her?

He didn’t know what to think. He sat on the bed with a thud, and looked at her. She startled, but didn’t wake up. It was 10.28PM. He had work in the morning. He should probably leave. They’d sort this out in the morning. Or whenever.

As he made to get off the bed, she made a sound, and started breathing very fast. She looked like she was struggling. Then she started to cough.

Akwei was scared. She looked pale suddenly. He shook her awake, and she seemed to be trying to say something. She was pointing on the table. He looked and found her inhaler. So this is what her attacks looked like? 2 puffs, and she seemed to be calming down. She was still coughing. Another puff, and a few more less violent coughs. Her eyes were puffy. And she looked smaller than she normally was. She was still in her jeans and T – shirt from earlier.

“Akwei what are you doing here?” She asked him with narrowed eyes. Then she looked down and saw the letter. She instinctively picked it up and placed it on the drawer behind her. She couldn’t tell if he’d read it. She really hoped he hadn’t. This wasn’t how he was supposed to find out – Maybe he wasn’t even supposed to find out.

“K, I think it’s high time you told me what’s going on with you…”

She didn’t know how to react. Didn’t know if he’d already read the letter or if she should just blame some stress at work, or maybe she could feign anger at his attitude earlier today.

“I read the note you wrote…”

Her breath caught in her throat, and she coughed once more.

“You had an affair with Kobby?? And you didn’t bother telling me?”

 

 

To be continued…

Karla’s Story

This is something I have been working on for a while now… since it ended up getting a little too long to be in one post, I’ll put them up in parts. 😀 I hope you like it!

 

When Karla got to his place, she was hungry. Knowing he wasn’t quite the cook, she had cooked some chicken, and brought it with her. She’d made a pack for him as well.

Her ‘baby’ sister had told her on several occasions to be careful about him – Kobby. She didn’t like him – he seemed too smooth, and there had to be a reason why at his age he hadn’t settled down with someone. He had this annoying pride that made him think that everyone should be attracted to him. It was kind of cute – at least for a short bit. But then again, her sister had never exactly liked many of her friends.

Akwei, her boyfriend was indifferent. He knew her. He trusted her – and that was all that mattered. Right?

As she dished out the food, he came and  hugged her from behind. She knew she shouldn’t be enjoying it – but she was. “This is Akwei’s territory, leave me alone.” She mumbled in a tone that didn’t even convince herself. He only tightened his grip and said, “You smell nice”

Why doesn’t Akwei do these things eh?! She thought to herself

She was in one of her casual dresses. Besides, this wasn’t like a date or anything – she had merely visited a friend with food, and they were watching a movie. Yet his focus was not on the movie – he kept looking at her.

It wasn’t in a way that made her uncomfortable. So it was fine.

She noticed he kept inching closer, and she would stare him out, and they would both just giggle.

The food was a little too much, she realised. She really couldn’t finish it all. She returned to the kitchen to put the rest of hers away.

It wasn’t until she was turning to return to the living room to continue the movie that she noticed he had followed her there, still looking at her with that look. She smiled and walked past him into the living room. Right then, he caught up with her and tried to kiss her. She knew then that she had to stop him – but for a minute, she was enjoying all the ‘feels’. It felt nice to be wanted by someone once in a while.  Not that Akwei didn’t want her, she knew he did, he just didn’t really show it much.

 

His hands went for her zip, and she yanked them away instinctively. Apparently, by then, it was a little too late – too little blood was left in his bigger brain up there! He was totally oblivious to her cries for him to stop, and she was too weak to actually make him stop. He had her pinned down, took off her dress, and had his way with her.

When he was done and spent, about seven minutes after, he lay there for about two minutes, spasming like an epileptic child. She felt bile rise up to her throat so suddenly, and she could not breathe!

For the first time in 6 years, she felt an asthma attack creep upon her. Of course, she did not carry her inhaler – she hadn’t had to for 6 years! She tried to calm herself down. With shaky hands and legs, she got dressed, rushed into her car, and like a maniac, sped off without looking back!

She couldn’t think straight. She concentrated on her breathing, and on her driving. She had to make it home ASAP.

You know this was your own fault don’t you? You saw the warning signs. You played with the fire – you literally carried it into your bosom!

Tears threatened to pour as she thought of it. Her eyes were on fire!

No, Karla, you will not cry!!  It was your own fault anyway, you saw it coming and did nothing about it! This is just what you were calling for, isn’t it?

 

*                               *                             *                             *                             *                         *

 

It took a long time for her to sort out her feelings. Guilt, rage, fear, distress – she had never had so much going on in her mind and heart all at once!

For the first time in her life, her father could not read her. He kept looking at her. He knew not to ask her if she was okay – it had been the cause of many a fight. And often, he could read her to know when she wanted to talk. But this was different. She had rushed home breathless on Sunday afternoon, and since then, had been absolutely quiet. She was blank. She did not talk when he talked. She hardly came out of her room. Broken was the only word he could use to describe her sudden change – but he couldn’t figure out why.

She didn’t know if the numbness she felt was due to her hurt, or fear, or guilt. She didn’t know what to do. She hadn’t had an asthma attack in years – he had triggered one. She couldn’t tell Akwei – and she couldn’t even think of a sensible reason why not. She felt guilty – this was her fault! Or was it?

For a fleeting second, she thought to herself, if he was giving me the appropriate attention, maybe I wouldn’t have even considered a friendship with Kobby! But deep down, she knew she really could not blame anyone else.

 

For 2 weeks, she went on moping. She skipped work on a couple of occasions, with an excuse of a terrible migraine. She avoided Akwei like a plague – and even though he was quite busy, he knew there had to be something up.

By week three, she had worked herself back to normal– at least that’s what everyone saw. Nobody saw what was going on in her heart, and she did a good job of hiding it well. She was after all a child of her mother! She saved her tears for those late nights when she was startled awake by a nightmare. She immersed herself so hard in her work, so she was constantly exhausted – for exhaustion was the easiest way to fall asleep.

Even Akwei was fooled. All he knew was that she no longer worried him about not having enough time for her, and that for him was a good thing – maybe she finally realised that the demands of work are truly high.

One balmy Sunday afternoon, while she was grocery shopping with Akwei, she was checking his list, and picking out the vegetables, while he followed her, replying work emails on his phone. She no longer bothered to ask him not to work when they were together. She was exhausted enough as it was.

She heard a familiar voice that startled her. It was him. Kobby. He had the guts to say hello. She stood there, shaking. She couldn’t tell what it was she was feeling – Rage? Fear? She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t move, and she certainly couldn’t speak. Akwei must have noticed that she was no longer moving. He looked up from his emails and looked from her to Kobby. She seemed flustered. Before he could ask if she was okay, she took to her heels and run out of the supermarket.

 

*                            *                            *                            *                            *                            *

 

When they got to his place, she got to cooking, while he went back to check if he’d gotten any more emails concerning the deal he’d been handed at work. It was one of those things that could easily get him a promotion – not that he was doing it for a promotion. He loved his job.

Well, you can love your jobs on the days when you don’t have your girlfriend spending time with you! He felt bad. But she was always so understanding. He knew she’d understand. She always did. Besides, that promotion would give them that money for the crazy wedding she had in mind.

 

Kayla cooked the stews absentmindedly. She didn’t go and call Akwei the way she usually would. She wasn’t even upset that he wasn’t helping.

“I only accepted to help you with the cooking, not to cook for you – I’m not your maid, to be slaving away while you work. This is supposed to be us spending time together, what’s the point if you’ll keep working?”

 That had been an interesting day. She’d had so much to tell him, about the kids from the orphanage they had just partnered with. But he had brought his laptop to the kitchen, and typed away non – stop for close to an hour. She lost it and told him off!

Today, she enjoyed the time alone. She was surprised he hadn’t asked anything about the incident at the supermarket. He was probably going to ask later. And what was she going to say? The thought of talking to him about what happened nauseated her. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. Maybe she would write a note.

By the time the food was cooked, Akwei was fast asleep. He must have dozed off while he worked. She didn’t want to talk to him anyway. She called an Uber, set a table for him, and left a note saying she didn’t want to wake him up, since he had work the next day. She knew it was a lie. He would have questions for her – and she wasnt ready to answer them just yet!

 

To be continued…..

Dear Yaw

Dear Future…

Dear Yaw,

This is going to be quite a long one… so you should probably take a seat😊.

Too many times I have overthought things. Height difference, career plans, (or my lack of such plans), number of children, travel plans, etc. I remember exactly 8 days before I said yes to you… having a serious discussion with Maame about how your height could make our relationship difficult. “What if we try to kiss and he can’t reach? What will we do about dancing on our wedding day? – We must dance ooh Salsa + Ballroom things + Hilife too!!  What if he doesn’t even want to hold my hands in public, and it’s because he’s not that tall? Will I ever be able to wear heels again IN MY LIFE?? He’s too serious ooh… Plus when we get married, what if I want to go skinny dipping with him and he’s there doing those ‘serious boy’ long things? What if he doesn’t want to make out in elevators because of the possibility of getting ‘caught’?”😂😂

😂😂 Very childish, I know (And believe me, these represent less than 2% of the ‘what ifs’ that ran through my mind)

But then I said yes to you…..

And I must say, you have done a good job.  You’ve dealt with my coffee addiction love😝, and my lack of a sense of direction on pretty much any road🙈. You have dealt well with my crazy imaginations, my ‘over-sentimentality’ and wild longings – present and future alike. There’s definitely still a lot of it to come, so don’t get so comfortable yet lol.

Before you came along, I had a tall list that I sent to God – Tall, (Yes, that was sort of number one on the list lol), of course, God fearing (without being one of those church guys you cannot have a sensible conversation about life with), good looking (And I definitely got that!), craaazy, (There’s still some time for you to pick up this trait :D), He must open doors, and pull out chairs for me to sit. He must make surprise plans for us (which will excite me, of course) He must call me all sorts of beautiful nicknames. He must hold my hands when we walk and do forehead kisses on the regular, with love letters every now and then. He must have a constant desire to run his hands through my hair when we spend time together, and he must look into my eyes randomly (but often) and say nice nice things … generally, his romance game must be real strong! It must earn him A stars! Oh and of course, he must have a sizable butt🙈! (I won’t lie, God heard me real LOUD and CLEAR on this one)! The list is quite long.

You have many big dreams – don’t let go of them because of any man. Don’t let anyone clip your wings. You will fly. Choose someone who will fly with you, and push you higher. Your daddy pushed me for years until I was flying high above him. He did not feel threatened. On the days when I wanted to stop flying, he carried me – literally. He still pushes me. You need that kind of person.”

And so I chose you. Not just because of how much you proved you love me. Not because you fulfilled any of the things on my semi- childish list, or because you had patiently waited over a year after asking. Not because of how charming you are, or how pretty your eyes and lips are🙈  and certainly not because of the butt, (although it did play a very tiny part)…

I chose you because you push me. You make me want to become better. Your successes inspire me, and I knew that God wanted to tell me something when he brought me ‘my short man.’

You already know that home isn’t always a place. Home is the feels. To me, home is someone giving you a reason to stay. Choosing you over and over again. You are home. You give me a reason to stay. You have not stopped choosing me. And I hope that after sixty years, we can still each feel like home to the other. No matter where in the world we find ourselves, I pray that you’ll be home to me, and I to you, always.

I know that I’m a really crappy person in the mornings when I haven’t had a good coffee… (Reason why we need a state of the art coffee machine in our home, wherever it will be), and I will always treat the dog as I would a baby – Yes, the dog may share our bed sometimes. (Also a reason why you should plan to get me us a puppy soon– I would prefer a Saint Bernard or a Labrador, – No toy dogs! *hint hint*🐶🐶). You will almost always have a very hard time waking me up in the morning… unless of course you qualify your reason for waking me up 😝

I know that I will irritate you a lot, annoy you quite often, and most likely not be the perfect person. I will worry your life for hugs and kisses all the time – or almost all the time. I will argue with you over very petty things – and I will probably argue harder when I know I’m wrong. I will mess up your table, and I will eat your food even when I said I was not hungry. I will make us stop in random places when we’ve planned to go somewhere. I will make you wear shorts so I can ogle your butt (You know this). I will make you wear slim fit shirts by force, and hide your bell shoes so you don’t even find them to wear. I will constantly piss you off. I will overthink things – both real and imaginary things. And I will impose what you call “fairy-tale things” on you…  I will wake you up at night, like it or not, and I will be low key upset when you sleep early. I will make salads, lasagnes and vegetable sauces that you will have to eat, because not everyday rice rice rice!

But there can be no one else for you than me (Just as there can be no one else for me). Who else can always have your back and deal with all your wahala lol? Who else will deal with your annoying text language (what the hell is ‘gm’??) Who can deal with your 9pm all the time sleep time…? (Why on earth do you always sleep so early??) I don’t know who else can deal with the lack of adventure genes in your blood (Don’t worry, by association, these will be put in you with time 😉 )Or deal also with your annoying formal talk, “We should find the way forward soon, because it behoves on us to not give up .….” (You could have just said, ‘Honey we should figure this out soon’), Oh and your “quiet times” when I can’t get more than two sentences per hour out of you!

It doesn’t matter where work or life will take either of us – and I’m pretty sure it’ll take us many places; I promise to be there with you, and for you. I will make memories with you, wherever. I want to be 80 and have so many memories going on in my head that the kids (and grand-kids) will hear a new one every now and then.

I want us to learn to live in the now, and not only for the future. No matter how busy we get, or how hard we’re working towards the awesome life we have planned, we shouldn’t let it steal from us the joy of this present moment. There will be times when you won’t have the time for me, and as you already know, this is absolutely fine – as long as you understand when the roles are reversed. In our chosen career, we both know there will be times when the sacrifices we will have to make for other people will cost us. But I hope we don’t make those occurrences habitual. I hope that no matter what emergency situation I’m taking care of, everyone knows that if you were to call, or appear, you’d be top priority!

 

I need you to understand one more thing. As you already know, you have some pretty high expectations to meet. Expectations that were half set from watching my parents, and that have been in my heart since I was 6, when I first saw my parents kiss. I remember dad, not skipping a beat when mum got a job halfway across the continent. I watched him take mummy to the airport for every single trip she had to make – Right from Afghanistan, to Zimbabwe – and pick her up on every return. I watched him try to work his schedule so he could make some of these trips with her. I listened to them talk hours into the night when she returned from such trips. They have such a beautiful friendship, even after thirty years of marriage. They have not stopped showing affection, teasing each other, or playing and laughing together.

I also remember when mummy made a personal decision to quit her job to come and support dad at a time when he needed it. It was a grand sacrifice that I felt was unnecessary at the time. (What do I know?) But it showed me that tough decisions will be made. And no matter how hard they will be, they should not conquer what we have.

 

I admire your love for God. I admire how focused you are, how you can put your mind to one thing, and make it happen. I admire how clever you are, and how silly you can be when you want to be (I need more of this silly though 😝lol). I admire how humble you are, and how modest you are. I admire how willing you are to make me happy. I admire the way you treat my family. I admire the way you treat kids – because we will have many of them. I admire the passion you have for your chosen field. I admire your standards and how high they’ve been set. I admire your strong commitment to purity. I admire the respect you have for me and for my views. I admire your heart. It’s a heart of gold, and every day, I thank God that He gave it to me. I value our friendship and our love. I appreciate all your efforts. Have I mentioned that I love your butt too?

I don’t want to keep going on and on. There will be other letters. There’s a lifetime ahead of us. I just want you to know today, that you’re one of the many things I thank God for. Daily! Sometimes more.

I know this letter is scattered, and not in a very sensible order. But it’s straight from my heart, and I just want it to convey one message to you. You are deeply loved and appreciated. No matter what. You mean a lot to me – you always will.

Cheers to the many years we have ahead of us, and to the beautiful life that God has planned for us. Cheers to love, purity and a deep commitment to each other.

Yours Always,

❤❤❤❤

Nana Yaa.

 

“Home”

This is one of the very few times on this blog, when I write about my personal life. This is what home means to me… I hope you like it… You can drop a comment and tell me what home means to you too 😀 !

Over the years, we’ve lived in so many places. Different countries, different cities, different places in the same city…..

With time, and movement, and travel, and school, I’ve come to learn, that home is not a place.

True, it is more often than not in the confines of one place…at least for a while… But the places change, and the memories remain. The people, the memoirs, the smells, the warmth…. That’s what make it home.

I find home in Adomawuraa’s naughty laughter after she’s poured all the milk into her mouth… Or her serious face when she says ‘Grandma, don’t do that!!’ maybe also in her outrageous crying for absolutely no reason at all…. Home is in Ohemaa’s happy face… NO. MATTER. WHAT! Or it’s in Boii’s annoying banter “Nana, I’m definitely taller than you!” Or in that side smile that daddy does when he’s half asleep and you ask him to go to bed.

Home is mommie’s colourful hair, and boho dressing, and Alex’s ‘quiet’ laugh. Her constant giggling that makes no sense. It’s in Dora’s dramatic long chatter, and her dance moves that never change!

Home is in mum’s joyful singing that can easily put you into a happy mood, and in Unyce’s ability to make anything sound animated….

Home is in Daddy’s long ‘things’ that will always happen every time we ask for money “Is it necessary? Your hair looks fine! Ah, what do you need another pair of shoes for?” Lol!

Home is in Yaw’s funny embrace… and in his contagious laughter, and the animated way his face gets contorted when he laughs… It can will make you laugh for no reason! Home is the smell of his shirts, and the ‘fights’ about shirt and shoe sizes, or most importantly, about wearing shorts! It’s in the way he can be having a normal day-to-day conversation, and still be talking as if he were in a board meeting. 😛

Home is not in Kumasi, or in Tema, or Accra, or in Winneba… Home is not in Ghana or in Malawi, or in Kenya or in the UK…. It’s not in any City or Country known.

Home is where my heart is when I’m trying to study all the many things they expect me to in school. It’s the first thought I have in the morning, when I wake up on Saturday, wishing it was Dad waking me up for Morning Devotions.

It’s in the smell of Coffee, and freshly fried pancakes. Home is Sunday Lunch, when the ‘Omo – Tuo’ is too hot, and I still want to use my hands! It’s in the ‘Ashanti-Man’ bragging that dad does just to make us all laugh “Hw3… wonnim me 3h?!”

Home…

It’s where my heart is all the time, no matter how far away I am. Home is where I can be me the most. Home is the best “place” in the world… Where my heart is full, and my soul refreshed…

 

And for all these and so much more, I can’t stop thanking you, dear God!

DON’T

So this is a post from a new friend. Althoug she prefers to keep herself anonymous. It’s a post that got me thinking about many things, and I hope you like it 😀

Don’t say you miss me, my heart gets confused.
Don’t call me late at night, keep me talking for hours on end.
Don’t make me reminisce, I don’t want to remember how good it was…

Don’t say you saw me, and I made you miss a step.
Don’t call me by that nickname, the one only you used to call me.
Don’t say you miss my lips, that you wish they were still yours to kiss.
Don’t keep me up, arguing names for children yet unborn.

Don’t pretend you still want me, when it’s only an itch you seek to scratch.
Don’t break down my walls, weaken my defenses, and then walk away.
Don’t have me believing in our future…..

when you know that for you, it will always, be her.